Blog

Listening?

 
Blogging has given me an opportunity to voice my opinions. It helps me see my thoughts in black and white and makes my head a little lighter because I get the swirling thoughts out of my brain. And because of the comments, I feel like my thoughts are heard.

As my children are getting older, I’m beginning to recognize that if we have a conflict with a certain child about the same subject over and over again, it’s about not being heard. My child is feeling that their voice and thoughts are being ignored. The feeling must be like trying to scream in a dream and you can’t make a sound. You try, and you try, and you try. So then you resort to other actions.

Listen and watch and listen and watch your kids today. What are they trying to say?
Photo courtesy of hearingplanet (Creative Commons)

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Love the colors and textures!
Photo courtesy of Ray_chel (Creative Commons)

Thankful for Crashing

I’m pretty good with staying organized with homeschooling my three youngest, writing, blogging and the myriad of other responsibilities. Normally, I can keep dental appointments, my daughter’s hearing aid appointments, and any other medical appointments straight in my head with the help of a calendar on my laptop and another one inside a drawer. However, I dropped the ball and with one ball, my world seems to crash. And that’s when the negative thoughts begin.

The name of this blog is the IMP3RfeCt Mom: Embracing the Journey because it reminds me that I’m human and that I’m full of mistakes as well as accomplishments. It’s easy to appear humble on paper but ever so hard to live with my failures when they hurt my loved ones.

One part of my life that I haven’t shared much about on this blog because I’m rethinking it, is my faith. My relationship with Him is my everything. As I age, all the black and white areas are now gray and “grayer.” Fortunately, when I fall flat on my face, or bite my kid’s heads off, I am still loved by Him. He doesn’t love me any more or any less than He first did…

for which I am thankful.
Photo courtesy of Photos8.com (Creative Commons)

Haiku

Next Monday is going to be the Blogathon’s Haiku Day. For a quick refresher, because I needed it, a haiku is a 3 line poem with 17 syllables. (with 5, 7, 5). Someone mentioned that we learned it in 3rd grade. Did you? Can you remember back then? I love them because they can be so powerful and intense…or funny and cute.

Perfectionism
Is destructive and harmful
Stop the thought process

Try it and see what you come up with. I think I see a lesson coming up in my homeschooling today. (I also see my 14 year old rolling his eyes but that’s okay.)


Photo courtesy of cogdogblog (Creative Commons)

Feeling Inept?

With this new blogging adventure, I’ve had way too many opportunities to feel inept. I’m learning how to post, design a blog, download a 3rd party html, and the list goes on and on. There is blog etiquette, and there is definitely blog lingo.

Fortunately, I’m also part of a supportive group who are more tech savvy than I’ll ever be. I chuckle at their kind and thorough answers to my various questions because you know, with email, your communication can easily sound abrupt and rude.

As a parent, I see the benefit of learning new things in front of your kids because it helps you sympathize with them when they trying to memorize the bones of the human body or struggling to write a number in scientific notation. When I see slumped shoulders or hear a book slammed, I always thought it was a behavior issue. I don’t think that way any more.

What have you learned recently that was hard to learn? Share about it with your kids.

Guest Blogger – Jennifer Fink

I’d like to introduce Jennifer Fink who is my guest blogger today. The Blogathon’s rules asked bloggers to have one guest post during the month of May. Please welcome her.

My house is a mess. Three of my boys are still in their pajamas and a two-day old basket of clean laundry leers at me from the dining room floor. Clearly, I am not a perfectionist – right?

Wrong.  I am a recovering perfectionist, one who spent years denying her perfectionist tendencies.  As it turns out, perfectionists don’t necessarily have immaculate houses; they have inner stress because their houses aren’t immaculate. Instead of living comfortably among the mess, perfectionists berate themselves for not being quick enough or organized enough to keep up with the housework. For a perfectionist, nothing is ever good enough.

And yet, many of us still cling to the basic tenet of perfectionism, which is, “If I do everything right, everything will be right.” We believe that the power to create a perfect life lies within – that if we simply do everything properly, people will like us, our marriages will thrive and our children will grow to be healthy, happy human beings.

I still want to believe that. I want to believe that if I parent my boys just-so, they’ll be protected from drug addiction, accidents, diseases and heartbreak. But a tiny part of me knows that’s not true. Bad things do happen to good people, and my boys may face serious trouble down the line, in spite of my years of conscientious parenting.

Parenting – like all relationships – is a gig with no guarantees. That’s not a message you’ll see on any magazine cover; parenting magazines and books feed the cult of perfectionism, lure parents with promises of “can’t fail” parenting techniques. Yet as all parents know, those “can’t fail” techniques don’t work on every kid. That’s because every kid, every family and every parent is different – and because there are factors beyond our control. Our job as parents is to love our children fiercely anyway, in spite of the eventual outcome.

It takes a lot of courage to pour your heart and soul into something with no guarantees, but that’s exactly what parents are called to do. So love your children freely and without expectation. Don’t worry about who or what they’ll be in the future. Instead, focus on who they are right now. Join them in their explorations. Nurture their interests. Play with them. See the world through their eyes and live in the moment, at least momentarily.

Are you a recovering perfectionist? Take this quiz and find out.
http://discoveryhealth.queendom.com/perfectionism_abridged_access.html

Jennifer’s blog can be found at Blogging ‘Bout Boys.
(Jennifer is a freelance writer, homeschooler and SuperMom extraordinaire! She has four boys — ages 12, 9, 6 and 4 — who inspire her, challenge her and keep her busy. 🙂

Home Sweet Home

Photo courtesy of Dingbat2005 (Creative Commons)

Guest Blogger

I love this imperfect theme. So when Jan asked me to guest blog on her spot I was so excited, because not only am I an imperfect mom, but an imperfect wife, friend, therapist…

First, I looked up the definition of perfect, and I found among other definitions, “entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings.” Next, I looked up imperfect and found “incomplete, and underdeveloped.” And then I realized this described not only me, but everyone. After all, we live in an broken world, and we are all on a journey, hopefully toward wholeness, healing, and completeness. Maybe this is why I became a therapist, to help people on their journey and… to help me, too.

So let me just say thank you for allowing me to be part of your day, and remember, we are each imperfect in some way. This path we travel includes many hills and valleys, yet we must learn to love and accept ourselves and others in this process.

“The virtue of true love is not finding the perfect person, but loving the imperfect person perfectly.” anonymous

Trish Rohani, MA, is a Marriage and Family Therapist in the Portland metro area.
website: patriciarohani.com .

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I’m blogging from not only a different computer but from a different state. I’m visiting my folks in sunny Southern California. So for the next few days, my posts will be short because I value the time with my mom and dad. I probably don’t have a whole lot of it left.

For any writers out there, check out Christina Katz’s Writer Mama’s Proudest Moments where 40 mama writers shared their proudest accomplishments. I’m somewhere in the list.

For me, writing has been steps along the way. It’s kinda like parenting. There are times you want to give up, go home, throw in the towel but you don’t. You keep plugging away at correcting, loving, talking with, listening, and taking deep breaths in between all of it. You feel like a failure and then moments later, you see a glimpse of success with your kids…Parenting, as well as writing, is only for the couragous.

Photo courtesy of extranoise (Creative Commons)

Fellow Bloggers

Here are the 100 fellow bloggers that are taking part in Wordcount’s Blogathon: Go visit.
Rebecca I. Allen356 No More, A journey from couch to fit
Christa Avampato – Christa in New York, Curating a Creative Life
Anjulibhulbhulaiyan, a complicated entanglement of zigzag pathways
Joan Lambert BaileyPopcornHomestead, Gardening, place and my life in Tokyo
Karen BannanNatural as Possible Mom, Because natural isn’t always possible — or easy
t.a. barnhart – Left Coast Foodie, Damn, that’s good: a foodie blog by someone who knows what he’s doing
June BellEnough is enough! Advice and support
Athena l. Borozon – The Desert Rat Dialogues
Jane Boursaw*Film Gecko, Cool movie news and reviews
Alisa BowmanProject Happily Ever After, Marriage advice from a recovering divorce daydreamer
Carson BrackneyCarson Brackney, Consultant, Copywriter, Content Provider, Factotum
Ben Bradley, Ben’s (Not Quite) First Ever Presence on the Interweb, Blog of an aspiring human being
Sheena BrockingtonGreenhouse Advertising, Cultivating ideas for small businesses
Danielle Buffardi*Horrible Sanity, Going into the mind of a mother and freelancer
Beverly BurmeierGoing on Adventures, Travel stories from near and far
Diane Calhoun – Violet is My Color, Life just happens, deal with it
Danielle CarterLive and Love Life VA, Helping you do more of what you love, and less of what you don’t!
Fiona ChanCandy Prison, A typical teenager
Joy Choquette – One Year. 156 Fears. Life Changing. One woman tackles her fears
Bernard ChungGreen Tea World, It’s more than just a cup of green tea here
Caroline ClemmonsA Writer’s Life, Writing tips, interviews and miscellaneous ramblings
Shelley Clunie  – ShelCluzo’s Blog, Healthy, wealthy and wise at 62
Cocotte – Leaping into Life, Uncommon stories to nurture body, mind & soul
Christianne CookA Day in My Mind, The world through my eyes
Sue DickmanLife Divided, Food, garden, books . . . and India
Jackie DishnerBike with Jackie, Using my special brand of BIKE to teach you how to turn obstacles into opportunities
Tracy DoerrTracy Doerr, A chronicle of ideas and things that inspire me
Ron S. Doyle*Blog Salad, All the blog that’s fit to eat
Dana DuGanChick with a View, It’s good to live on the edge. The view is better.
Dan EldridgeLabor Party, A Young Pioneers Media blog for Creative and Alternative Entrepreneurs
Cindy Elsberry – Doodle9, Paddling down the stream…of consciousness
Heather FaesyBlame it on the Full Moon, My kids, writing and reading
R. Jill FinkMy Opera, Musings about writing, food, weight loss and other hilarious things
Jennifer FinkBlogging Bout Boys, All about boys — raising them, educating them, learning with them
Damaris FishDamaris Fish on Genealogy, Researching my family history and helping others with theirs
Dylan FogleDiscordianzen, The map is not the territory
Katie FooteLittlefoote’s Lab, A chronicle of what the unemployed girl in NoPo is up to.
Heather Frendo – Thrifty Knee Socks
AndreaGenevieveAndrea Genevieve, Where social medium, technology and higher education meet
Alexandra GrabbeChezsven’s Blog, Life as a green innkeeper on Outer Cape Cod
Elyse GrauMy Garden to Table, Growing what you eat, eating what you grow
Wendy Korn HepptBudget Style on a Shoestring, Budget savvy fashion, beauty and related news and ideas
Katie HindererWrite Beyond the Cubicle, A freelance writer’s thoughts on the industry
Amanda HirschTastee Pudding, In the search for creative life, the proof is in the Pudding
Lisa Jaffe Hubbell – Eat, Read and Be Harried, Making it through life one book at a time
Nancy Mann JacksonGrowing Food and Kids, Gardening, harvesting, cooking and preserving with kids in tow
Robert JanelleWithout an Apostrophe, Ottawa freelance tech journalist
Elizabeth King HumphreyThe Write Elizabeth, Writing. Creativity. Play. Life.
Walter L. Johnson IIGeorgia News Beat, An inside look at what’s happening in the state of Georgia
B.J. KeetonProfessor Beej, Pop culture commentary with an academic slant
Amy KocurAmyLizK, Maryland/ DC Metro area arts and analysis
Courtney KoschelFinding My Muse: A New Writer’s Journey,
Sara LancasterNo.2PenBlog, Resource for my clients and others interested in marketing communications
Bill LascherLascher at Large, A contemplative, pondered and unrushed thought banquet.
Mary Dixon LebeauIn the Boom Boom Room, Remember staying out until the street lights came on?
Pooja LohanaBrown-eyed Mystic, On writing and more!
Sarah E. LudwigParenting by Trial and Error, The learning curve in raising kids
Jenny Lynes – Welcome to the Good Life, A student environmentalist exploring responsible, cheap, and fun living
Su-sieee! Mac This and That. Here and There. Now, Sometimes Then., Rambling about anything and everything that interests me
Harry MarksCurious Rat, Chewing at the tech industry’s wires…nom nom nom…
Joanne MasonEnglish Idioms, What they mean, how we use them, where they came from
Kim McNeillKim’s Play Place, An active parent trying to make sure my kids are educated
Teresa MearsMiamiOntheCheap, Discounts, deals and free events in Miami
Rose MedlockRFM, Rose Flores Medlock
Heather MintonStumbling into Grace, The adventure of following God and figuring it out in Portland
Kathy MurrayOut and Employed, News, career advice and job resources for ex-offenders
Alexis NeelyLife, Business and the Pursuit of Truth, A blog about the intersection
Charles NewberyPine Tree Paradise, The life of a work-at-home writer and father of three
Eric NovinsonCosting a Green Future, A green business blog
Tracy O’Connor I Hate My Message Board, Humor, crankiness, a museum of snack foods and the odd motivational piece
Andrea ParkerAutism Fundraising Guide, For parents of children with autism
Lilac PenafielWhat Have You Learned Today, Life lessons learned everyday…
Tara PhillipsTwo Hands and a Road Map
Jennie PhippsWalletPop, AOL’s personal finance blog
Ed PilollaEd Pilolla, What the f*** is love?
Sue PorembaI Breathe, Therefore I Write
Michelle Rafter, WordCount, Freelancing in the digital age
Kate ReillyPolka Dot Suitcase, Family fun through creative living
Meredith ResnickThe Writer’s [Inner] Journey, Bestselling authors, professional creatives and emerging voices in quirky dialogue about how they write and why it works
Vanessa RichardsonWay Out West Texas, City girl from California moves to Way Out West Texas, what will happen?
Rebecca RobinsonRebecca Robinson, Updates on freelance projects, reflections on journalism innovation in Portland and beyond, and brainstorms from the wee hours
Carey RossiThank You Everything, Appreciate the little things
Natasha RogueThe Writing Blues, Little tips on how I find motivation to get past the difficulties of writing life and the road to publication
Andrea M. RotondoLuxury Cruise Bible, Your source for unbiased luxury cruise reviews
Melissa SaisDigital Mom, Raising kids in a digital world
Lisa SamalonisSingle Parent Savings
Sami Stonerpreneur, Stoner antics as they relate to my business and personal growth
Dina SantorelliMaking Baby Grand, And I thought giving birth to real babies was hard…
Lacey SavageTips and WIPS, Talking about writing fiction
Lilian SchaerFood and Farming Canada, A blog about the farming side of food
Kristie Sloan – mkBeautyZone, Skin care and makeup information training and products
Matthew SmithSmidgen PC, Big news about tiny PCs
Michelle SmithLaw Office of Michelle R. Smith, Because it’s your life, your family and your choice
Stephanie Suesan SmithStephanie Suesan Smith PhD, Information Central
Claire SplanAlameda Garden, Gardening issues in the San Francisco Bay Area and beyond
Margarita TartakovskySelf-ish, {Sorta} Sage Advice on Being a Better You
ThinkingtoohardThinking too hard, This is where I empty my head
Blake ThompsonBlack Thompson daht Net, “I’m just saying…”
This is my first year!
Jodi TorpeyWestern Gardeners, Your online guide to gardening in the West
Paul TullisGrim Tidings- True/Slant, My rants about politics & policy
Jan Udlock – Imperfect Mom
Brandi-Ann UyemuraBrandi-Ann Uyemura, Rather be freelancing: tips for the beginning writer
Beth VanHooseWriting in Sand, My adventures in freelance writing, and other stuff
Rachel VidoniEast Coast Musings, A humorous look at kids, family and life
Jen WalkerMy Morning Chocolate, Writing, experiments, culture and adventure in food
Katie Jett WallsOne per Week, 52 posts on things that matter to me
Sarah WebbWebb of Science, Connecting science and life
Rebecca WeberNewstilt SAfrica
Susan WeinerInvestment Writing, For investment and wealth managers who want to communicate more effectively with clients and prospects
Rashida WilliamsReally Rashida, Urban lit author blogging about my life and times
Jennifer WillisJennifer Willis, Thoughts on religion, sustainability, media and culture
* These awesome participants are also WordCount Blogathon 2010 sponsors.