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By Jan Udlock on June 10, 2010
On a rainy day in the NW, what could be better than sitting on the couch with sleeping youngest child, oldest playing awful video games in room next door, one off to work, music in middle child’s room, and the other one…well I don’t know where that child is. And with no goal in mind as I blog today, this is luxury!
The other day I came to a stunning realization through a friend. I was whining about feeling incompetent so often lately. I joined the Blogathon and learned a ton about building my blog and blogging. I often compared my short quips with novel-like entries of others. Is that what people like? I may be a little ADD so give it to me short and sweet. See, I’m digressing…
Incompetent: lacking in qualification or ability, incapable. Lately, I always seemed to be learning something new. It was an uncomfortable feeling because I never felt I got it just right. This week, I started an online query class where I’ll be learning how to pitch article ideas to national magazines with ladies with 11 – 14 years of experience doing this. (Fortunately, I’m in the beginner class and they in the higher level one. And I’m honored that I get to peer into their work lives and watch as they create masterpieces.)
So this friend stopped me in our conversation and said there is a difference between being incompetent and being a beginner! What? Say that again! There is a difference between feeling inadequate and feeling like a beginner! Oh My Goodness! Lightbulb moment! (If you’re a perfectionist, you feel like you never get it right. You’re hard on yourself. And trust me, this is NOT a good thing…especially you don’t want to pass this on to your kids…)
Therefore, today I’m an apprentice and am choosing to love it!
So for all you perfectionists out there, or if you know of one, please share with them this tidbit. It made me a happier mom, a little more confident writer and much more relaxed!
Photo courtesy of alicegop (Creative Commons)
Posted in Blogging, Encouragement, Family, Imperfection |
By Jan Udlock on June 6, 2010
Definition: In physics, the property or tendency of a moving object to continue moving. Currently, I have none…Momentum, that is. Participating in the blogathon required me to write daily and to be honest, the prizes were an additional incentive. I blogged every day for 31 days. I can’t remember when I’ve been that diligent with something for a straight month unless you’re talking consuming hot fudge sundaes.
However, it’s over now and so is my momentum. So now, it’s going to take work to get the ball moving again. I find myself whining and complaining about writing. The lies in my head tell me it’s too hard. I’m mediocre. No one cares about what I want to share. But I need to get back on the wagon.
How do you get re-started? How do you jump start a project that is staring you in the face? Leave me some tips.
Photo courtesy of fdecomite (Creative Commons)
Posted in Blogging, Writing |
By Jan Udlock on May 31, 2010
Since today is the last day of the blogathon, I had plans to write about what I learned but instead wanted to share that I am content.
Sunday I spent two hours gardening with my younger daughters and had a blast. When they were babies, I thought about gardening. I drooled over gardening magazines and just dreamed. Aren’t the pictures beautiful! And then when my kids got old enough, I gardened for about an hour. Soon somebody had a dirty diaper or needed to be fed, so I had to quit for the day.
The years rolled along, and some children wanted to help with the garden. Planting seeds was fun for a short time then it became too much work. And today, my girls stayed with it the entire time and helped me plant gerber daisies, scarlet runner beans, zucchini, cosmos, bush beans, tiny pumpkins, marigolds, and more.
I briefly explained about depth of planting, distance between seeds, germination terms etc. and then let them do it themselves. We pulled weeds and uprooted bulbs. We replanted bulbs and tried to dodge cat poop. We talked about how barren the garden looked today and how lush it will look this summer. We prayed for our garden that it would be full so we can enjoy it and share the bounty with others.
Today, parenting can not be topped!
(Later, I wanted to post a picture of their dirty hands but when I asked them about taking a picture, they informed me that their hands were clean now and couldn’t I just go get a pic off the internet?…yep, I guess I could. Thank you, dear ladies.)
Photo courtesy of Pink Sherbet Photography (Creative Commons)
Posted in Blogathon, Blogging, Encouragement, Parenting |
By Jan Udlock on May 30, 2010
The 2010 Blogathon is finishing up tomorrow, and it’s been a ride for me. Looking over my posts, I have found myself encouraging parents. I’m still testing the waters with the skill of being able to laugh at myself without being disparaging. Photography is a brand adventure for me too, because I found the truth in “a picture is worth a thousand words.” Also, I’ve discovered, to my dismay, that some of my posts are more negative than I want to be or portray. Note to self: lighten up!
Christina Katz speaks about authenticity this week in her writing newsletter. And I wanted to jump on this topic because blogging has required me to ask what details do I share and what is TMI? Authentic to me means being honest and accepting your shortcomings and your strengths. As a writer and blogger, I want to be known as genuine with the adventures of parenting. Being legit with people is life giving.
Left to myself, I’m prone to be “the cups half empty” kind of woman. Yet, I also have learned that how you look at parenting and writing is a choice. My choice. Some days I have to continually remind myself, that I chose it – both jobs…actually all three jobs. Writer, Blogger, Parent. I can look at it and grumble and say it’s too hard OR I can choose to say it’s hard some days, but “Bring it On!” We can do this together!
Where do you have to catch your thinking? Do you make the choice?
Photo courtesy of Elevate Printing (Creative Commons)
Posted in Blogathon, Blogging, Encouragement, Parenting, Writing |
By Jan Udlock on May 30, 2010
Today a family member went to live at another home. We gave our 8 year old Arab to a young lady who is so excited to have her. My oldest daughter has outgrown Domini, and the younger children didn’t have a desire to ride her.
Horses want to work and since they are herd animals, need to be around other horses. It was very sad to see her leave but I know it’s for the best. Enjoy the season you are in because it will change.
Posted in Family, Letting go |
By Jan Udlock on May 28, 2010
When my kids were younger, I would have thoughts that when they got older, life would be easier. And now that they are older, it’s not easier, just different.
Parenting adult children takes a lot of tongue biting and asking questions about what they think. When my children were younger, I could direct them more and what I said was basically law. Now, that my oldest two are on the brink of leaving home, I listen more. In some ways, it takes more emotional energy because sometimes I have to think about each of my responses. I can’t tell them what to do. They have to figure out what they believe and why do they believe it.
It’s hard as a parent to see them struggle with an area in their life. But in the long run, I want it to be their victory rather than mine.
Photo courtesy of normanack (Creative Commons)
Posted in Courage, Parenting |
By Jan Udlock on May 27, 2010
Parenting is hard…just plain hard sometimes. You try different methods of discipline. You ask your friends what do they do when… Sometimes, they give you a fabulous idea and as a dear friend calls it, they share their “silver bullet.” A silver bullet is an idea that works for them in the parenting scheme of things. It works at least for a time.
Right now, our silver bullet is the threat of going to bed early. For some reason, for an older child, the threat of going to bed earlier than a younger sibling seems to be our magic wand. We wave the wand, and the older child does their chore, picks up their clothes, or makes the appropriate choice. Phew! It works for today.
What is your silver bullet? Share with me…I’m always looking for new ones.
(I wanted a picture of an actual silver bullet, but in the process I learned that the hydrogen bomb is also referred to as a silver bullet. And I’m too tired as a parent to address any controversy that a picture of a silver bullet may raise because of violence in the media…so here’s a picture of a car.)
Photo courtesy of Ed Bierman (Creative Commons)
Posted in Encouragement, Parenting |
By Jan Udlock on May 26, 2010
I hate Christmas letters. People who you’ve lost touch with, send out these letters with all of their family’s accomplishments and the exotic places they have traveled to. I seem to be left with a feeling of “I’m boring.”
One of the reasons why I have such a distaste for those types of letters is because I think people are not being authentic. I’m all for sharing your happy times but tell me what’s hard, too. Tell me that you’ve been eating too much or you’re concerned about your older daughter. Please be real with me. And I also know that a Christmas letter is not an appropriate place to advertise your struggles. So whoever started those letters, please rethink them.
On the same note, I don’t ever want to discourage a younger parent with any of my words. Parenting is a tough job and from experience there are highs and valleys…very deep valleys. So, because I’ve shared my doubts and fears as a parent, I wanted to share my joys, too.
I want to publicly thank each of my five kids for allowing my hubby and I to go away for the night. When we got home, the house was relatively picked up and everyone was so happy. If there was any fighting between whomever, I didn’t hear about it. Laundry was done and a nice fire was going. Thank you, dear children. I am very proud of each of you and today, I’m proud that I’m a parent.
p.s. The picture is not our house…(it’s the B&B we stayed at in Seattle…maybe in my next Christmas letter, I could say we inherited a few million and…naw!)
Posted in Encouragement, Parenting, Writing |
By Jan Udlock on May 25, 2010
Dear hubby and I visited Seattle for my birthday this weekend. We stayed at a beautiful B&B mansion: pictures will be forthcoming. We traipsed around Pike Place Market and trudged up and down the hills of downtown. The idyllic gardens were picturesque this time of year, too.
Now with all this perfection, you would think that I loved every minute of it. I didn’t. It was a stretch for me because traveling seems more work than it’s worth. But I had a battle plan in my head that I would look at this as an adventure. I’d have a “sure, let’s do it” answer for my hubby. I want to be that dynamic woman who can venture off into the wilds of insane streets and mass amounts of people. (Originally from Los Angeles, I still had to tell myself to keep breathing a few times when we waited with a horde of people to cross the street.) Don’t these people have homes to go to?
I want to raise children with an attitude that they can do anything they want to do. I want them to be adventuresome and curious and not scared to try. As a parent, giving them the tools to savor and relish moments in their lives is my job. So I better practice it myself.
Photo courtesy of Dear Hubby!
Posted in Birthdays, Courage, Imperfection, Parenting |
By Jan Udlock on May 24, 2010
Blogathon, a goal
Learned too much to share today
It’s almost done, yeah!
Posted in Blogathon, Haiku |
