I’ve learned that the best part of gray, rainy days is that the rain will subside…eventually.
And when the sun comes out, it’s glorious.
Have a super week and enjoy the outdoors.
Photo by Galileo55 and Muffet and photofarmer
The best part about gray weather is…
Dishes and Doors
Dear Oldest Son and Oldest Daughter,
I just want you to know that when you left tonight to go back to college and I didn’t walk you out to the car, it’s my way of hiding. Hiding from strong emotions. I gave you a big hug and kiss, but went right back to washing the dinner dishes.
I didn’t even realize that I was running.
Running from the sadness and grief of letting you go and grow up.
They warned me.
People warned me that my kids would grow up but I didn’t believe them…
and I just couldn’t fathom the idea that I would no longer be needed.
You say, “but I’ve been there at the university for a few years now.
And I’m only 45 mins away.
And we have a good relationship???”
Yes, that’s true, but until you are a parent, you won’t know the amalgam of feelings. In parenting, you feel the shame when your kids make poor choices. You feel the pride of your child’s success.
And we all know that parents make it about themselves. I’m no different.
Yet my job as a parent is almost done.
Sadness mixed with pride mixed with frettin’ and closure.
So…I love you both bunches. If you feel I’m pushing you both away, I probably am. So you’ll have to remind me
To quit it.
(photo by madmolecule and modern carpentry)
Here’s My New Website
In the business world, an unveiling of any product should be when the product is complete. It should have all the glitches solved and there shouldn’t be any safety issues. Well, I’m not in the business world. I’m in my motherhood world of messy situations, half-baked stuff and too many dust bunnies.
So…with that introduction, I’d like to unveil my new website. I’m bursting with pride and my feet are doing the happy dance. I still have some words to create to describe me and my writing services but I just couldn’t wait another day to share it with you. It feels like the feeling of “how much trouble will I get in, if I wake up Mom and Dad at 4:30 a.m. to go open Christmas presents?” feeling. I’m so excited.
I just love it and all that it represents in my life. It has been a very humbling experience to walk through because it was such a gift from the Lord. It’s about my future and not my past. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Click on my name and it will take you to the home page on my NEW site.
Ron S. Doyle created it and he was amazing to work with. He was encouraging and patient. He pushed me to think outside of the box when I needed to. He’s a good egg.
It’s important to me to share it with you while it’s still in process because I’m learning to trust in Him more and let go of “perfection.” Thank you for coming by and celebrating with me.
P.S. Rest assured there hasn’t been any safety issues reported. 🙂
It’s Getting To Be Spring – before and after pics
My sweet hubby and middle son gave me a wonderful gift a few weeks ago. They built a garden box outside my kitchen window where I will be able to see flowers. Oh yes, they did! Here are some before and after pics:
Look at the bottom left of the pic. See all that clay and rocks? I’m so thankful that I have a hard-working son. I kept telling him that he’s just making more muscles as he was shoveling and using the pick on the rocks.
Now here is the next step. It’s a little dark because the pic was taken at dusk:
And here is today’s latest picture:
And
Isn’t it going to be lovely when my all my dahlias and strawberries come in?
So what do you have in your life or your kid’s that is a “before” picture? Is there an area in your life that you’re frustrated with because it doesn’t seem to change? As an older mom of my gang, I’ve seen positive changes in my kids that I felt would have never happened and I can’t say that I prayed for it because at times, I only had strength to pray for Him to do His work in them.
Mamas, be full of hope today. The Lord uses hard circumstances in our lives to bring beauty into them. Share your heart with Him. I wonder if He sees us as before and after pictures. What do you think?
Falling Apart Some Days?
As I sat in the hospital waiting room, my mind swirled with questions like: will she be able to hear again? Does she have to wear hearing aids forever? What will we do for pain? How are the other kids doing at home? How should I plan the rest of my week? etc. etc.
I was on edge. I couldn’t concentrate on anything, and I felt I would bark at someone if they asked me a simple question. I know I had people praying for her and our family and I felt His presence but I still felt totally at odds. And I hated that feeling. So. out. of. control. Lord, this is hard again. We’ve/She’s been through this six other times so why is it so hard on me as the parent?
I felt selfish as a parent and frustrated because I couldn’t concentrate on anything for days afterwards. She’s the one who had the surgery. And yet the stress of pre-surgery, surgery and post-surgery got to me.
Then blogging came to mind. Hmm? So many times when I blog I want to look like I’m the together parent with all the right answers. I want to be the cool parent with boundaries. With. all. the. wisdom. OUCH…Not very pretty but brutally true.
I think God created us to need others. And sometimes He sends us gentle reminders to be human and accept the fact: This not so perfect mom needs to remember that she’s human and it’s okay to fall apart…really, it is.
P.S. Update: We layed low last week, and she’s doing just fine…mom, too.
“I Have Faith That You’ll Figure It Out”
As a parent of five, there are various problems my kids have and will have. Yet as they grow older, I want to empower them to figure stuff out on their own. I so want to hold their hand and fix it for them but in the long run, I’m not being helpful. I understand this concept but why is it so hard as a parent to do so?
I can ask questions like “It seems to me when there’s a lot of noise and people, you seem to get agitated. Do you feel that way? What choices do you have when you start to feel that way?”
“Wow, you have a lot of homework this week, is there anything I can help you with to make it easier? Do you want me to brainstorm with you for any ideas to help?” And then I need to bite my tongue and walk away. I need to remember my anxious thoughts need to stay inside my head.
Sometimes my only question of choice is: “How are you?” My hope is to listen and not pry any further…even if I know there is conflict. I concentrate on slowing my breathing down and just listen. Just listen.
I want to protect their hearts from pain. Can’t I just fix it for them? Yet, I want them to learn that anxiety or stress is part of life, and they can find their answers. My peaceful questions can show them they don’t have to get upset or fearful. They can and are learning to work through tough life situations.
As an older parent I’ve learned that it doesn’t mean my anxiety goes away but I know that I’ve given my kids the gift of believing in themselves.
Change Is Good
Two weeks ago I bought my first pair of jeans in eleven years. Yes, that’s right. I haven’t worn pants for eleven years but I’ve been able to dig out boulders in our horse’s yard, garden, play in the snow, and pretty much anything else all in skirts. My reasoning for my choice then isn’t important now. What’s important is that I made a choice to change. Holy cow…I washed them for the first time and now understand the word “muffin top.”
My sweet daughters have lots to say on the matter which I won’t go into. I appreciate their support on my new idea.
Change is hard to think about and even harder to do. I know for myself it’s fear of failure or fear of not being enough or just being lazy. Yet it can be rather fun and exciting when you make a change. Some people won’t like it but evaluate if that’s a good reason not to make a change.
Think about what you’d like to see different. Not changing another person – that doesn’t count and it doesn’t work very well either. What is there in your life that you’d like to see different? Think about what small change you can make that will make a difference in your life? Is there something like tidying up an area in your house?, trying a new food?, not going to a food for comfort?, driving a different way?, reading a book on a completely new subject?, not reacting to your kid like you always do or trying on a new piece of clothing that you keep eyeing at the store? Share with me your thoughts and maybe a new choice.
I Won!
I participated in a blogathon as you know back in May and met wonderful bloggers and mentors. I learned a ton and learned that writing daily is a chore. However, I think when we do anything new, we’re awkward at it initially. It got easier and the experience was life changing.
At the end, there many prizes for any of the bloggers that finished the race. One of the GRAND prizes, and I mean grand, was a website build. Check out the video!
I’m so excited to work with Ron. Can’t wait to share more!
Learning Something New
I’m not going to worry about perfection today because sometimes other people’s perfection can be hard on us. I don’t know about you but still working on the comparison thing. And when I’m in a class, I seem to feel inadquate.
So…
I’m working on choosing to feel like an apprentice instead. 
(wouldn’t you kill for this color red?)
