Okay, I admit it, “I’m not a fun mom.” I think of a fun mom as the mom who takes their kids out to the park or to the beach and plays with them.
Some of it was because with having five kids, I expected them to play with each other which they did. I also think I was raised in the feminist era which didn’t value motherhood and consequently didn’t value kids.
Some days I think I get distracted with the dailiness of life and I’m not in the present with my family. Either I’m worrying about what happened yesterday or what article I’m going to write tomorrow.
As I’m writing this, I asked my younger kids if I am a fun mom or not and one response was “Mom, You are fun. You let me eat ice cream in the middle of the day yesterday.” One daughter said, “Mom you’re a fun mom – not over the top fun – but okay.”
When I asked my older son, he reminded me when he was much younger I was extremely black and white in my parenting. And that I never laughed.
“However, now I see and hear you laughing much more often.”
Hmmm…maybe I’m getting a little more fun than I thought. Not-over-the-top yet, but just a bit more.
I need suggestions. What do you do as a fun mom?
Photo by Metamorphite
Well, I take exception to that! As I recall you recently spent a day playing in the dirt with your kids. I’d say that’s certainly a fun mom! My own mother worked full time and spent what little free time she had keeping the household running and clean so she didn’t get to spend as much “fun” time with us girls. And I suppose in hindsight I did spend a lot of what I think of as “fun time” with our daughter (an only child) making crafts, playing board or card games, going to the playground, splashing around with the hose on a hot summer day, riding bikes or rollerblading, going to the pool, etc… but that may have been the result of having only one child. Five is a totally different ballgame in my eyes.
Hey Julia,
I appreciate your kind words. I think I was tired a lot when I had wee ones and now, I’m loving this time with older kids.
As I mature, I’m not so afraid to look at my shortcomings so I can encourage moms to enjoy their kidlets more.
Thx lady.
Just being concerned about how fun you are makes you a rockin’ Mama! I think as Moms, just like anyone else, we ebb and flow. Some days, I am all black and white, while others I’ll start a tickle fight. When I get the urge to blurt out something silly/gross/odd – I do it and my boys love me for it. I also fly my “fun flag” by having dance parties in the car while on road trips – windows down, radio volume up! I’ll send them odd pranks in the mail or write silly jokes on their lunchbox napkins. But be you. That’s what your kids love you for!!
Love your kids’ comments, BTW – they’re nothing but honest in their opinion of us!
Hey there, MJ,
I thought my daughter’s comment about “notoverthetop” was so stinkin’ honest and funny that I had to share it. It gave my post a nice touch. 😉
Huggies to you,
j
Jan, I think you and I are twins separated at birth!! I’m not a “sit down and play” with my children either! So I took your lead and asked my children, and they thought I was fun. One daughter said, “You goof around with us. Well, mostly to us and not with us.”
So I guess it’s good that God gives us the families that will feel loved, cared for and fun by who we are and not who we THINK we should be. Another reason to PRAISE GOD!! ;-D
Oh, Kate,
What reassuring words! Haven’t you found that it’s so much easier to laugh with your kids now?
Yes, I am very thankful for His wisdom. And my family. And my friends. And my blogging buds.
I was not much of a sit-down-and-play-with-the-kids mom either, although it’s easier when they’re older. Maybe it’s because there are more activities that we have in common.
I have a hard time getting down and playing with the toddler. It is a lot easier to see her teen sister playing with her and makes me smile 🙂 I feel guilty, though, since I did so much more with my teen when she was a baby! As for the older one, we play games together – board games, card games, even video games. We love our Kinect! It is easier now that she’s beyond the dolls and dress-up stage.
Well according to my kids, I’m a “fun mom”. We do a lot of little things like setting up a little scene with their toys in an unlikely but discoverable place (pez dispensers with the toothbrushes, stuffed animals hidden in cubbies, a fake flower in the frig with a penguin, etc). Sometimes we dress up the cat or dog with some of the kids old clothes. We pretend we are fake superheroes. Sometimes we do no electricity nights and play board games by candlelight. We try to make the kids read us bedtime stories or we make up stories with them as the main characters. We have dance parties at night and just put on music and dance silly dances.
It’s just the little things sprinkled throughout the day.
You sound very fun, Shana. Fun ideas, too.
Thank you for stopping by.
You’re a fun friend, I know that. 🙂
Not sure I can help you. Some days I am definitely pre-occupied. Other days, I will read and play games. But DO NOT ask me to do crafts or anything that requires dragging out a bunch of stuff. One thing I do like to do that I think my kids would say makes me fun is go on adventures. When hubby has to work that odd Sunday we have been known to go walk the mountain trails or something like that.
Hi Carol,
It’s a pleasure to meet you. I just noodled around on your site – it’s gorgeous!
I laughed at your crafts comments. Me, too! Thanks for leaving a comment.
j
I’ve been set free from my non-fun-Mom purgatory. I thought I was all alone in the I-refuse-to-sit-and-pretend-to-be-a-dog-when-I-gave-you-sisters (aka live-in playmates) Mom category.
I’m all about having fun on vacation or giving in and taking them to a park or to swim.
And remember… it would never be enough fun. You’d bark like a dog, but it wouldn’t be realistic enough. I see how they play with each other most days, and quite frankly I don’t want in on that. 😉
You brighten my parenting journey!!
Tia,
And your comments brighten my day and my blog. Loved the Mom-purgatory comment. Isn’t that the reason I had so many children – so they could be each other’s playmates? 🙂
Have a great weekend.
I’m not really a fun mom either, but I think it all depends on how you define fun. I hate crafts and I don’t belt out silly songs, but I love to read with my kids and play games. If they liked to play baseball, I’d be in 7th heaven. I also let my son tell me his 5th-grade dirty jokes — hey, at least I know what’s going around the school yard, right? Just that we’re talking about being fun makes us good — fun — moms.
I’m gently surprised with everyone’s supportive comments and how many of us just don’t fit that “picture perfect super fun mom image.” Yippeee!
I think talking to our kids about what’s going on in their world is what’s important.
Maybe an article idea?
Thanks. Joanna.
j
Who says you have to be a mom and fun, too?! Too much pressure. Besides, like someone else said, I bet you’re more fun than you think. Playing card games with the kids, helping them with homework, making cute snacks, pushing them on the swings. I bet you’ve done any number of fun things in your children’s lives. And if you were black and white when your kids were younger, that’s because you were just beginning to practice how to be a mom. This is an on-the-job-training job that books really can’t prepare you for, because each child is different. That makes you a different mom for each child. So, I bet you’re more fun than you think you are. But if you’re not, and you want to be, there’s nothing stopping you now.
Hi Jackie,
What great insight! You’re right with the fact that I’m a different mom with each child. I have loosened up a lot. The day after I wrote this, my kids were silly and teased me about it all day and we had fun!
Thanks, Jackie.
I love how you’re so honest and open, Jan. If you’re not the most fun, you’re certainly one of the most sincere and most thoughtful moms I know.
Oh Lisa,
How sweet of you! The older you get, the more real you get – kinda like the Velveteen Rabbit. 🙂 Thank you.
j