Haikus Revisited
Listening?
Blogging has given me an opportunity to voice my opinions. It helps me see my thoughts in black and white and makes my head a little lighter because I get the swirling thoughts out of my brain. And because of the comments, I feel like my thoughts are heard.
As my children are getting older, I’m beginning to recognize that if we have a conflict with a certain child about the same subject over and over again, it’s about not being heard. My child is feeling that their voice and thoughts are being ignored. The feeling must be like trying to scream in a dream and you can’t make a sound. You try, and you try, and you try. So then you resort to other actions.
Listen and watch and listen and watch your kids today. What are they trying to say?
Photo courtesy of hearingplanet (Creative Commons)
Photo courtesy of Ray_chel (Creative Commons)
Thankful for Crashing
I’m pretty good with staying organized with homeschooling my three youngest, writing, blogging and the myriad of other responsibilities. Normally, I can keep dental appointments, my daughter’s hearing aid appointments, and any other medical appointments straight in my head with the help of a calendar on my laptop and another one inside a drawer. However, I dropped the ball and with one ball, my world seems to crash. And that’s when the negative thoughts begin.
The name of this blog is the IMP3RfeCt Mom: Embracing the Journey because it reminds me that I’m human and that I’m full of mistakes as well as accomplishments. It’s easy to appear humble on paper but ever so hard to live with my failures when they hurt my loved ones.
One part of my life that I haven’t shared much about on this blog because I’m rethinking it, is my faith. My relationship with Him is my everything. As I age, all the black and white areas are now gray and “grayer.” Fortunately, when I fall flat on my face, or bite my kid’s heads off, I am still loved by Him. He doesn’t love me any more or any less than He first did…
for which I am thankful.
Photo courtesy of Photos8.com (Creative Commons)
Haiku
Next Monday is going to be the Blogathon’s Haiku Day. For a quick refresher, because I needed it, a haiku is a 3 line poem with 17 syllables. (with 5, 7, 5). Someone mentioned that we learned it in 3rd grade. Did you? Can you remember back then? I love them because they can be so powerful and intense…or funny and cute.
Try it and see what you come up with. I think I see a lesson coming up in my homeschooling today. (I also see my 14 year old rolling his eyes but that’s okay.)
Photo courtesy of cogdogblog (Creative Commons)
Feeling Inept?
With this new blogging adventure, I’ve had way too many opportunities to feel inept. I’m learning how to post, design a blog, download a 3rd party html, and the list goes on and on. There is blog etiquette, and there is definitely blog lingo.
Fortunately, I’m also part of a supportive group who are more tech savvy than I’ll ever be. I chuckle at their kind and thorough answers to my various questions because you know, with email, your communication can easily sound abrupt and rude.
As a parent, I see the benefit of learning new things in front of your kids because it helps you sympathize with them when they trying to memorize the bones of the human body or struggling to write a number in scientific notation. When I see slumped shoulders or hear a book slammed, I always thought it was a behavior issue. I don’t think that way any more.
What have you learned recently that was hard to learn? Share about it with your kids.
Guest Blogger – Jennifer Fink
I’d like to introduce Jennifer Fink who is my guest blogger today. The Blogathon’s rules asked bloggers to have one guest post during the month of May. Please welcome her.
My house is a mess. Three of my boys are still in their pajamas and a two-day old basket of clean laundry leers at me from the dining room floor. Clearly, I am not a perfectionist – right?
Wrong. I am a recovering perfectionist, one who spent years denying her perfectionist tendencies. As it turns out, perfectionists don’t necessarily have immaculate houses; they have inner stress because their houses aren’t immaculate. Instead of living comfortably among the mess, perfectionists berate themselves for not being quick enough or organized enough to keep up with the housework. For a perfectionist, nothing is ever good enough.
And yet, many of us still cling to the basic tenet of perfectionism, which is, “If I do everything right, everything will be right.” We believe that the power to create a perfect life lies within – that if we simply do everything properly, people will like us, our marriages will thrive and our children will grow to be healthy, happy human beings.
I still want to believe that. I want to believe that if I parent my boys just-so, they’ll be protected from drug addiction, accidents, diseases and heartbreak. But a tiny part of me knows that’s not true. Bad things do happen to good people, and my boys may face serious trouble down the line, in spite of my years of conscientious parenting.
Parenting – like all relationships – is a gig with no guarantees. That’s not a message you’ll see on any magazine cover; parenting magazines and books feed the cult of perfectionism, lure parents with promises of “can’t fail” parenting techniques. Yet as all parents know, those “can’t fail” techniques don’t work on every kid. That’s because every kid, every family and every parent is different – and because there are factors beyond our control. Our job as parents is to love our children fiercely anyway, in spite of the eventual outcome.
It takes a lot of courage to pour your heart and soul into something with no guarantees, but that’s exactly what parents are called to do. So love your children freely and without expectation. Don’t worry about who or what they’ll be in the future. Instead, focus on who they are right now. Join them in their explorations. Nurture their interests. Play with them. See the world through their eyes and live in the moment, at least momentarily.
Are you a recovering perfectionist? Take this quiz and find out.
http://discoveryhealth.queendom.com/perfectionism_abridged_access.html
Jennifer’s blog can be found at Blogging ‘Bout Boys.
(Jennifer is a freelance writer, homeschooler and SuperMom extraordinaire! She has four boys — ages 12, 9, 6 and 4 — who inspire her, challenge her and keep her busy. 
Home Sweet Home
Photo courtesy of Dingbat2005 (Creative Commons)
Guest Blogger
First, I looked up the definition of perfect, and I found among other definitions, “entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings.” Next, I looked up imperfect and found “incomplete, and underdeveloped.” And then I realized this described not only me, but everyone. After all, we live in an broken world, and we are all on a journey, hopefully toward wholeness, healing, and completeness. Maybe this is why I became a therapist, to help people on their journey and… to help me, too.
So let me just say thank you for allowing me to be part of your day, and remember, we are each imperfect in some way. This path we travel includes many hills and valleys, yet we must learn to love and accept ourselves and others in this process.
“The virtue of true love is not finding the perfect person, but loving the imperfect person perfectly.” anonymous
Trish Rohani, MA, is a Marriage and Family Therapist in the Portland metro area.
website: patriciarohani.com .
I’m blogging from not only a different computer but from a different state. I’m visiting my folks in sunny Southern California. So for the next few days, my posts will be short because I value the time with my mom and dad. I probably don’t have a whole lot of it left.
For any writers out there, check out Christina Katz’s Writer Mama’s Proudest Moments where 40 mama writers shared their proudest accomplishments. I’m somewhere in the list.
For me, writing has been steps along the way. It’s kinda like parenting. There are times you want to give up, go home, throw in the towel but you don’t. You keep plugging away at correcting, loving, talking with, listening, and taking deep breaths in between all of it. You feel like a failure and then moments later, you see a glimpse of success with your kids…Parenting, as well as writing, is only for the couragous.
Photo courtesy of extranoise (Creative Commons)
