7 responses to “Entertaining is Not About Me”

  1. Aleksandra

    I completely understand you. I have a same problem- I worry too much if everything is ok when there are guests in our home. And every time after they leave I feel like I didn’t pay enough attention to what they were saying. I wonder if I should be more involved in a conversation and always find an exuse for myself saying something like “But the ice-cream had to be served when they were sharing weekend vacation stories”. In the end, I just feel tired, but I never thought about what I should do to stop worrying so much and start actually enjoying the company. Thank you for sharing this, you got me thinking about all this once again.

  2. Kate @ Teaching What Is Good

    That’s a great question! I heard years ago that there are 2 types of hostesses: those who are TERRIFIC servants and those who make people feel right at home. I tend to be the latter type. I don’t stress out if my house is not perfect (so long as it is generally tidy) or how my children act like – well, children. I want people to come in and feel free to go into the fridge and find something to eat!

    For years I opted out of entertaining at all. It was so much work to get the house in perfect shape (as if) and a really nice meal with a lovely laid out table. I missed out on SO MUCH!! These past 6 years, since my children have traveled with a ministry team, I have learned much more about how *I* hostess. We periodically (and often at little notice) have 5-8 other college age students stay with us for 1-8 nights. I’ve learned that they actually LOVE coming to our house because they feel AT HOME. Yes, we don’t have fancy things or even beds for everyone, but they feel like they can settle in and be part of the family.

    For me, THAT’S what type of entertaining I want to do. I am no where near together enough (or servant enough) to do the wonderful entertaining that some of my very talented friends do. God has gifted them in one way and I’ve come to see that God has actually gifted ME in another.

    I’m LOVING your series, Jan!!

  3. Jane Boursaw

    Good reminder. We get so worked up about the house and food and everything, and the guests probably don’t even think about that stuff. They’re just glad to be enjoying time with friends — which is what WE should be doing.

  4. Patty Perkowski (@PACWP)

    I would like to take another twist onto this conversation and say that what is being talked about is mother competition. It is something that some families value and promote through out the generations: It is the mother-in-law that values the image over the actual. This m-i-l will favour one child/grandchild over another and the favoured child will be the shinning example.

    It is the media which propagates the notion that working moms are happier than stay at home moms and so therefore causes a battle over which is best, and whose children will grow up well adjusted while the other will be a deviant.

    As moms we worry over every decision and action knowing, just knowing, that somehow we are the cause of everything wrong with our children. We will do everything anything to look perfect, to raise perfect children, to have the perfect house because we have “been told” that is our duty to do so.

    Feel it is better to be chameleons and please everyone else instead of living out our Baptismal role as Priest, Prophet and Queen, I know this is an issue that I have dealt with as a mom of four, as a social worker and now as a spiritual director.

    Found your blog on Blogathon and so glad I did, would love to have you visit my site http://pattyperkowski.com/, and please when you do give me a shout out!

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