I’m writing this as I’m waiting for my middle son who is taking his driving permit test. I have to keep dumping words out of my head so my heart won’t explode. This is not his first time taking the test.
It’s hard as moms to deal with our kid’s disappointments. We want to shield our kids from pain. We make it about us but it’s really about them and what they can learn from an experience.
When we look to our past and look at painful events we’ve carried, we know we’ve been molded and shaped by some hard events. Rough edges have been smoothed over and wisdom seems to ooze into the cracks of our lives.
He’s so close. I know it.
He has studied hard. He asked us some online driving questions last night and shared the choices of answers that made absolutely no sense to us. As an adult if I took the test today, I’m sure I’d fail it.
As I sit in the DMV, I prep myself to have the right words in my arsenal if he doesn’t pass. I remind myself to not talk at him incessantly about how proud I am of him that he worked hard studying. I need to bite my tongue and be okay with silence.
Disappointments don’t kill us but they sometimes feel like they will. We as parents have to allow our kids to fail and stop cushioning them.
He startled me as he came up from behind and said, “Let’s go, I didn’t pass.”
Okay. As I follow him out the DMV doors, I waited for his words.
“I’ll try again on Monday.”
Epilogue: My sweet son took the test again and passed. The grin he had on his face said it all.